It's time...

For a change.

A BIG one.

One that will better me, and make me healthier and stronger than ever before.

Here's a low-down on why I'm so desperate for some kind of change. (Bare with me on this exhausting journey down memory lane....)
I've mentioned to you all that this past year I ended up in therapy due to panic attacks (happening nightly at its worst). It was horrible. The radiologist I work with just so happened to be in the room when I had a meltdown at work...He told me that I should just talk to someone for some relief. It worked. For about 5 months. Then, once MRI school started, (this all happens when my cup overflows apparently) I end up with an ulcer in my stomach, which leads to me losing 8 lbs in a month, and I lose my appetite. I later start getting wavy vision, and feel like my insides are shaking, with numb hands and feet. WHAT? I thought I fixed all of this...CRAP! So, I go to the doctor and to be safe we do an EKG, MRI of my brain, check my heart, blood pressure, labs...the works. Nothing. It was getting so frustrating. He then diagnosed it as anxiety attacks. So, he says..."You know, since you don't really want to be on any meds, you should try therapy again."
Well, guess what...I don't have time for therapy dude! Golly. It's like one thing after another. It's not like I even think there is any specific reason for all of this...it's just that I don't usually talk about things that stress me out, so he thinks it all builds up...true. But, while I do think I need to get back in therapy, I am also changing my lifestyle. Dustin swears it's all related to my diet. And...He's probably right!

It's my NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION that I'm starting asap. Because I have the rest of December off from school, which means, I can get in to a routine without all the hustle and bustle of mommy, wifey, school, work duties happening all at once. Which has seemed to drain me physically. So, after December, I should have it down pretty good, and not have one more added thing weighing me down and compromising my end goal.

What is this goal you ask?

I'm changing all negative things in my life...

Food. I eat in such a way, that it's amazing I'm alive to tell about it. Fondant for breakfast and doritos for dinner is just not gonna cut it. It's no wonder why I am constantly battling for energy.

The next is more water. Or I guess I should say, start drinking water. I don't. I just don't. 1 gallon a day. No matter what.

The BIGGEST change of all...(this will shock the nation and possible cause a disaster or something huge like that) NO MORE POP. I mean it. I drink diet, which means no calories so therefore shouldn't be bad for you right? Wrong. I couldn't be more wrong. It's pathetic how horrible it is for you. Yes, I don't get sugar with diet soda, but what about the aspartame that is used in substances for embalming dead people. Sick. Sick sick sick. I'm disgusted. 52 oz of that shiz a day, and sometimes more. Gag me now! Blah!

I am also starting to take some vitamins: Vitamin C- Dandelion Root- Fish Oil- and Biotin. These I discovered at different times and for various reasons. But all are so good for you.

Excersise...say what?! Yes, excersise. It's important, even if I make every excuse known to man NOT to do it. It's important and I am starting now. I got some great advice from a friend to read the Bikini Body Mommy Challenge blog, and I got inspired.

Also, my hubby has been taking supplements and excersising like a freaking maniac, and I decided if we are both on board, it will be easier on both of us. I won't choose not to cook just cause I know it doesn't meet his "healthy" standards, and he doesn't have to eat healthy alone and be sabatoged by his rediculously unhealthy spouse. Win, win...

Next.

A healthy mind.

It sounds so weird but I truly think that a healthy mind leads to a healthy body, attitude, ....life. It's the best thing you can do. This I am not sure yet on what exactly I plan to do. But what I do know is that I can be my biggest obstacle. I say things to myself that set me up for failure without even doing it on purpose. Things like: "I am so fat."  "I am just not smart enough for this." "I can't juggle all of this." "I am so tired, weak and lazy all of the time."   It's so destructive and I've been working on it for years. The power of "The Secret" right? What you think you are, you will be...It's as simple as that. But, like I said, I have been working on this for a while now, but I hope 2013 will bring me some good changes and a healthier life...

I plan on updating on all of this too. Like the changes that are being made by doing all of this... Hopefully it will inspire someone else out there to make positive changes...

Ready. Setty (as Jaiya says). GO!