Saturday, January 14, 2012

Stop and smell the roses.

This post is dedicated solely to venting. You all should know by now, that this happens at LEAST every 6 months or so... I have had so much on my mind, and hopefully writing it down will help me clear my thoughts a little. And ADVICE is always NEEDED.

An {optimistic} person is what I once would have used to describe myself. But as of late, not so much. I feel like I am always down on myself, and pretty much ASKING for the worst with this horrible attitude. I've been trying to stop the negative thoughts, but it's like it has totally taken me over. I would say this mostly applies to school, and all that goes with it. If I take a test, I say I probably failed. If I apply for a program, I say I probably can't do it. If I have homework, I say I can't get it all done. Seriously. I'm nuts. Most likely this is insecurity. School has never came easy to me, and I would say it's the 1 place I lack total confidence in myself.Especially now that I have applied and been accepted in to the Ultrasound program through Weber. I am excited, but the 23% pass rate freaks me out just a little. Thank goodness for Dustin. As cliche as it is, he's my rock. He not only tells me I can do things, but he has reasons to back it up. Like, instances in the past where I may have done great on a test, and he brings it up to give me confidence on the current one. Truly, I probably would have assumed I wasn't good/smart enough for this field and given up if it weren't for him. Him, and Jaiya. I WANT to prove myself to me, to Dustin, but mostly to Jaiya. I know she doesn't understand now, but I want her to place school high on her priorities and reach for her dreams.

I have read books, watched shows, looked at the Internet, and so on for things that would help with my anxiety/stress/negativity. So, I now UNDERSTAND my weirdo mind, but need to get a grip on it. Yesterday, on Dr.Phil, (ha ha, laugh it up) Dr. Phil told a girl who was accusing a website of ruining her life, that her catastrophic words to herself was what was ruining her life, not the actual circumstance. He was basically saying that when you say catastrophic things about something, you will react catastrophically about it, and therefore, the instance does become a catastrophe. Wow, that hit like a ton of bricks. That's totally what I am doing. With boards coming up on a couple months, and being worried about finding a job, I have said some pretty catastrophic things to myself. Therefore, when something does happen, I go off the deep end. Blah blah blah, I know.

Does anyone else feel overwhelmed and in over their head sometimes? Or am I the only one? I guess going out of your comfort zone is scary, new goal is to say positive things to myself instead of the worst things that I can possibly think of. If I look at the whole picture, I have done very well in the Radiology program. I have made the Honor's list (Dean's list), done great in my classes, learned a lot, LOVE my clinical site and everyone I work with, So...Matasha, chill is not that positive, and take a minute to stop and smell the roses...

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Sweet Baby Reegan.

One of my very best friends, April, and her husband welcomed their first baby into the world last week. We are so happy for them, and we know they are going to be amazing parents. Jaiya had so much fun visiting baby Reegan, and in all honesty, it was the 1st time that I even have felt a tiny bit like I wanted another one...too bad school has to come first for another 2 years.

Congrats to my long time friend. I love you so much, and I am so excited for the years to come with our baby girls!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Birthday #25.

As always, thanks to my WONDERFUL family & friends, my birthday was once again, a wonderful day. I am so blessed to have people in my life that sincerely care about me. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have all of the support and love they have all given me, especially this past year.

Every year, my sweet mom and I go to Orem for some shopping & movie. I always look forward to it because we always seem to giggle the entire time, and shop til our poor feet just can't take anymore. (that's where the movie comes in) Our bodies enjoy the nice break of sitting in a movie theater after such a long day. This year we went to "New Year's Eve." Despite negative reviews from critics and from some people I have talked to, I personally enjoyed it. It was a cute chick flick.

The next day Dustin played in the annual Alumni basketball tournament. We always have so much fun catching up with those that are able to make it. I know it's something Dustin looks forward to. He lives, eats & breathes basketball...;) They play in teams of graduation years, and there are people ranging from high school to those who are now in their 50's. I love it. They all take it SO seriously and their competitiveness is as high as it was in their teens!!!

Jaiya was able to meet her cousin Beckahm. They were so cute together. Too bad Jaiya was getting sick. She was a little cranky those couple of days!;(

On my actual birthday, Dustin, Jaiya and I went to El Mexicano for lunch. We were sitting at our table eating, and I heard the "Happy Birthday" song coming my way...Mom & Krista showed up with this ADORABLE cake that Krista made me. She knows how I adore fondant, and could eat it til I'm sick, so she wanted to surprise me with my very own cake. Sweetest thing ever. She is so thoughtful. And notice there is a shoe on top...she knows me well!

I also got a picture of the Savior that I have been wanting for the longest time from my Mom and Jerry. I was so surprised and I am SO happy I finally have it!

That night, mom and Jer took us to South China to eat. I love that place. Best salads and sushi...Mmmm.

After dinner at South China, we went to see MI4. It was really good. I love action movies!!!

Thank you to everyone that took the time to wish me a Happy Birthday. I was so surprised that so many people remembered!

A warm welcome to 2012.

Wow. 2011 was FULL of great memories and unforgettable experiences. I cannot believe how quickly it came and went. I am excited & very nervous for what this new year has to offer, and I hope it's a a great year for all of you.

We celebrated the new year with friends eating at South China restaurant, and playing the funniest game ever before watching the ball drop & enjoying that NYE kiss! ;)





Quelf. This is a great game full of hilarious things you have to DO & SAY! Loved it!

And, of course, our "New Year's kiss"....

Wishing you all a happy, safe, healthy & prosperous new year...